Wah-wah

Tonight, I replaced our Brita filter.
Our Brita pitcher has a dial feature on the lid for you to remind yourself to replace the filter again. The directions suggest doing that every two months. So after placing the new filter in the pitcher, I dialed the numbers around until they read 06-04 (for June 4th).

That's when it hit me.

The next time I replace that filter, I'll be a mom.

An ambivalent flood of anxiety and hope washed over me. I looked at the pile of dirty dishes in the sink, the disorganized mess of groceries I'd half unpacked from yesterday's Trader Joe's trip still sitting on the dining table, and the huge cardboard boxes from Amazon that had arrived today strewn across our living room floor. I also remembered the ENORMOUS pile of gifts, clothing, and baby gear we had just received at my baby shower on Saturday - still sitting untouched in the baby's crib in the nursery.

Simultaneously, I wondered what our baby would look like. Would he fit his 99% designated name of "Henry"? Would he be healthy? Chubby? With lots of hair or bald? Would anything be wrong with him? Would he have all his fingers and toes? What if he's disfigured in some way? What if he can't see or talk? What will he look like? Who will he resemble?

Then I sighed, and thought to myself: Silly Brita, getting me all worked up!

I did as many dishes as I could before my back started hurting (for some reason the kitchen sink is kind of deep set into the counter, plus my belly prevents me from "bellying up" right to the edge of the counter... So I basically have to lean forward in this awkward way whenever I do the dishes - which leads to excruciating lower back pain after about 15 minutes). I asked my kind husband to break down the cardboard boxes in the living room, as I put away the rest of the groceries in the pantry.

As I walked to our bedroom, I shut the door to the nursery so I couldn't see the mountain of stuff that still needed my attention (hey, a girl can only do so much in one day).

And as I settled into bed, I realized it had been an egregiously long time since I'd posted anything on my blog. Sorry there's no formatting or pictures... Why, yes, this post was created on my iPad.