Appreciation

 

Why is it we only appreciate things when they're about to be ripped away from us or - worse - after we've already lost them?  Is it immaturity? The value of something increases only because we can't have it anymore? Or a minor form of hubris?  We get too set in our ways and take for granted that it may not last forever?

The other day I was griping to my husband about how being unemployed and having nothing to do all day isn't what it's cracked up to be.  After a while, it is possible (although it took a REALLY long time with me) to get tired of doing nothing.  What do they say? "Be careful what you wish for"?  Or to turn it around -  

"Be careful what you complain about."

Tomorrow I start a new job.  Back to the ol' 9 to 5 (actually, 9 to 6).  

Sigh.

This is good news. 

I know deep down it is.  I like spending money - and in order to spend, (ideally) you have to make money. In order to make money, you have to have a job.  And hopefully that job is something you don't suck at, hate, or causes bodily/psychological harm.  And that's what I've been handed. On a silver platter, in fact.  A contract position (so I don't feel THAT guilty about hiding the fact that I was 5 months pregnant at the interview), paying exactly what I was making at my last "good" job, working at a small ARCHITECTURAL firm (I put that in all caps b/c my last job was NOT at an architectural firm, and - frankly - it sucked), doing residential and commercial work.  It's pretty much exactly what I was looking for in a job.  And since it's contract, I won't have pesky deductions for 401k's or medical insurance - so in fact, I'll be bringing home MORE than I was a year ago.  Pretty darn awesome.  

I am grateful, don't get me wrong.

So... why do I feel like someone's told me I have to lose my left arm?  OK, maybe that's a little melodramatic.  But it definitely feels like an END.  My Life of Leisure is coming to a close, and although the benefits (I know, I know) outweigh the negatives, I don't think shedding an imaginary tear is overreacting. 

So long, sleeping in.  Bye bye, vegging out.  Adieu, punching at the iPad for hours surfing the net, playing Solitaire and Scrabble, and checking my personal email every 3 minutes.

Hello, again, Career.  

Did you miss me, Commute? (OK, it's only 15 minutes away)

Alas, Appreciation. Why is it you're always the last guest to arrive at the party... just before the cops break it up?