Although I am a self-proclaimed "couch commando", that doesn't mean I'm a couch potato or a complete TV addict (yes, yes, I know what I wrote in my last post). What I'm trying to say is that I do a LOT more from the sofa than just watch tv & vegetate. So here's a list of the many many activities I can do on the couch:
- watch tv (duh)
- watch movies
- play videogames (ok, I rarely do this... but it's been known to happen)
- sleep
- play with kitty (usually fetch - I throw his favorite mouse toy down the stairway, he runs and fetches it, brings it back, repeat)
- look at the beautiful view from our balcony - if I kneel on the couch and use the binoculars I can see so much!
- read books
- read magazines
- read catalogs
- do anything on the computer (mainly job hunt & check email, but also surf, shop, blog, read news & celebrity gossip, stumble)
- do crossword puzzles (with pen/paper & online)
- play sudoku (with pen/paper & online)
- watch kitty play by himself (usually running around if he's in a frisky mood or just going out on the balcony and exploring, walking across the railing, stalking pigeons, eating plants...)
- getting bit by kitty (when he's bored and wants me to get up & play with him or when he wants me to feed him)
- laying with kitty on my belly or lap
- paint nails
- tweeze eyebrows
- braid my own hair (not that it stays - even with my perm)
- do arm exercises (usually arm circles or just pumping my arms in the air like in the Destiny's Child video for "I'm A Survivor")
- do core exercises (I consider trying to sit up straight on a gushy couch until I tire to be core exercises)
- crack my neck
- crack my back
- do leg exercises (usually me, laying on my back, kicking my legs in the air like I'm riding a bicycle)
- do eye exercises (the best way is to focus on something really far away and then gently shift your focus to something closeby in the same line of sight - one eye at a time. I like to look at the coffee machine on the kitchen counter (far) and then at my knee (close), coffee machine, knee, and so on)
- eat
- drink
- talk on the phone/text/check voicemail
- check the time on the wallclock (who's second hand is eerily always on the 9 - it doesn't move - what a metaphor for my life)
- survey how much dust is on the living room furniture
- survey how much cat hair is on the sofa cushions
- think about what errands need to be run (grocery shopping list, target shopping list, do I need to go to the post office, should I just go get my nails done because I'm awful at doing them myself) - make a mental list - promptly forget
- think about what household chores need to be done (cleaning, dusting, laundry, trash) - make a mental list - promptly forget
- wonder what kitty's thinking
- yell at kitty and clap and make weird noises with my mouth to get kitty to get off the kitchen counter
- look at kitty looking at me
- wonder when I'm going to get a job
- wonder what my husband's doing at work
- wonder what my friends are doing at work
- wonder what I'll do if I never find a job again
- try to think of million, no, billion-dollar idea so I don't have to work again, ever
Million dollar idea = Couch Commando Exercise System
ReplyDeleteI think plenty of people would pay to find out how to get fit without leaving their couch. You might want to leave the eye exercises out. :)
my my that's an impressive list.
ReplyDeletemillion dollar idea: kitty shooer. super duper long handle with a fly swatter contraption thingy on the end so that you don't have to leave the couch when shooing kitty off the kitchen counter. dual purpose - can also serve as a fly swatter when flies are faraway. oh yeah. i get a 10% cut.